Wife Won’t Talk About Sex With You?

Do you have this annoying problem too? You want to have a great, passionate, sexual marriage but your wife won’t talk about sex with you and whenever you try it always goes badly?

In this episode I talk about 3 options you have to deal with this situation, what happens when you try each option and which has the best chance of creating more safety, intimacy, connection and even laughter.

In the video below I explain this in more detail including:

Why when your wife won’t talk about sex, focusing on connection, creating understanding, empathy and intimacy which creates a much healthier way to communicate about sex with your partner.

Why is it that your wife won’t talk about sex with you? Why is it that trying to talk to her about it is causing arguments and frustration – the opposite of creating connection and intimacy in the relationship.

Why when your wife won’t talk about sex, avoiding arguing and learning how to be the leader of the connection will create the safety she needs to be able to talk about this stuff more in the future.

How to not give up on what you want while also not getting sucked into fighting to the death and trying to “win” the argument will help create a healthier communication pattern which in turn will develop into being able to have the conversations about sex with your partner in the future.

Why it’s better to focus on finding something to appreciate about her instead, even if it’s appreciating how strong she is in protecting her boundaries about not doing something that makes her uncomfortable (this is actually a great path to creating connection because she will feel like you understand her more).

Why every argument is an opportunity for connection and leadership, so instead of fighting, find a way to turn it into a point of connection and lead it somewhere different.

Why complimenting your wife’s character is a great way to help her relax and open up.

Why bringing more of a playful energy to your interactions is essential, find something attractive about her to change the dynamic of the conversation about sex from one of criticism and intensity to laughter, lightheartedness and relaxation.

Why using humor in your relationship is one of the most powerful ways to connect and lead the relationship out of tension and into fun again.

Why it’s important to start to lead the energy of the communication between you with confidence and warmth if you want to strengthen your relationship.

I go into this in more detail in the video below. If you would like some 1-to-1 support on how to move forward with your current life situation, fill out my contact form and I’ll get in touch to arrange a free 60 minute coaching session with you.

YouTube video

About the author

Hi, I'm Dan. I've been a men’s coach for many years, mentoring and coaching men to get clear on what they want and creating practical and actionable plans to make it happen. I’ve experienced many of the same challenges you're going through right now. I’m here to challenge you and help you understand what's holding you back so that you can step into the confident, successful man you were meant to be.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is my coaching right for you?

My coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. I teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While my coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, I also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. I help you understand what you really want your future to look like and I also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 60-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, I listen a lot, I ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, I help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then I help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

I take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the coaching program work?

You will have either 2 or 4 coaching calls with me per month, continual access to me via messenger or email throughout the process, ongoing assignments and resources to help you stay focused and grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a trusted mentor in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

Why do you only offer 1-to-1 coaching and not group coaching?

I prefer to work with men 1-to-1 because I can really get to know you and unearth the best path forward for you and your current circumstances.

1-to-1 has the benefit over group coaching of creating much faster progress towards what you want to change in your life. You get much more personal time and attention with 1-to-1 coaching and it's adapted to your specific circumstances so provides the specific practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create the future you want.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

I work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. I only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. I teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – I don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t feel like a victim anymore.
  • You won’t experience any judgment or criticism (seems obvious but a lot of the men I speak to have felt this from past therapists or coaches that they have worked with).

I don't waste our time with all those things because I want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So I focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...my coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then my coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then my coaching will help.

I will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. I will get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. I help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

I help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. I help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. I help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys I work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of my coaching for free?