Wife Won’t Talk About Sex With You?
Do you have this annoying problem too? You want to have a great, passionate, sexual marriage but your wife won’t talk about sex with you and whenever you try it always goes badly?
In this episode I talk about 3 options you have to deal with this situation, what happens when you try each option and which has the best chance of creating more safety, intimacy, connection and even laughter.
In the video below I explain this in more detail including:
Why when your wife won’t talk about sex, focusing on connection, creating understanding, empathy and intimacy which creates a much healthier way to communicate about sex with your partner.
Why is it that your wife won’t talk about sex with you? Why is it that trying to talk to her about it is causing arguments and frustration – the opposite of creating connection and intimacy in the relationship.
Why when your wife won’t talk about sex, avoiding arguing and learning how to be the leader of the connection will create the safety she needs to be able to talk about this stuff more in the future.
How to not give up on what you want while also not getting sucked into fighting to the death and trying to “win” the argument will help create a healthier communication pattern which in turn will develop into being able to have the conversations about sex with your partner in the future.
Other articles you may find helpful:
How To Restore The Sexual Intimacy In Your RelationshipHow To Make A Decision That Scares You
Why it’s better to focus on finding something to appreciate about her instead, even if it’s appreciating how strong she is in protecting her boundaries about not doing something that makes her uncomfortable (this is actually a great path to creating connection because she will feel like you understand her more).
Why every argument is an opportunity for connection and leadership, so instead of fighting, find a way to turn it into a point of connection and lead it somewhere different.
Why complimenting your wife’s character is a great way to help her relax and open up.
Why bringing more of a playful energy to your interactions is essential, find something attractive about her to change the dynamic of the conversation about sex from one of criticism and intensity to laughter, lightheartedness and relaxation.
Why using humor in your relationship is one of the most powerful ways to connect and lead the relationship out of tension and into fun again.
Why it’s important to start to lead the energy of the communication between you with confidence and warmth if you want to strengthen your relationship.
I go into this in more detail in the video below. If you would like some 1-to-1 support on how to move forward with your current life situation, fill out my contact form and I’ll get in touch to arrange a free 60 minute coaching session with you.
If Every Conversation About Sex Ends in Frustration
If you’ve tried bringing up your sex life again and again only to end up arguing, withdrawing or feeling rejected, having the same conversation more forcefully probably isn’t the answer. Start by looking at the connection around the conversation — how you listen, how you respond to her boundaries and whether she feels understood rather than pressured. You can still be clear about wanting more intimacy while learning to lead these conversations with more confidence, warmth and patience.
Book a free 60-minute callWhy won’t my wife talk about sex with me?
There may be several reasons, and you can’t know exactly what is happening without understanding her experience. If previous conversations have ended in arguments, criticism or pressure, she may expect the subject to become uncomfortable again. Focusing first on understanding rather than convincing her can change the way the conversation feels.
What should I do if talking about sex always causes an argument?
Don’t make winning the argument your goal. Slow the conversation down and pay attention to what is happening between you rather than repeatedly pushing the original point. You can still be honest about wanting more intimacy without turning the conversation into a battle.
Should I stop talking about sex with my wife completely?
You don’t necessarily have to abandon the subject, but repeatedly forcing a conversation she isn’t ready to have is unlikely to create connection. Work on making communication between you safer and less adversarial first. That can make more difficult conversations possible later.
How can I talk about sex without making my wife feel pressured?
Approach the conversation with curiosity rather than criticism. Listen to what she is uncomfortable with, respect her boundaries and avoid treating the conversation as a negotiation where she has to provide a particular answer. The aim is to understand each other better, not to force agreement.
Can humour help when conversations about sex become tense?
It can, when it is warm and appropriate rather than dismissive or sarcastic. A little playfulness can sometimes interrupt a tense pattern and help both of you relax. Pay attention to how she responds rather than using humour to avoid what she is genuinely trying to tell you.
How can I create better communication about sex in my marriage?
Start with the quality of connection outside the sexual conversation itself. Appreciation, listening, warmth, playful interactions and being able to handle disagreement without becoming defensive can all affect how safe difficult conversations feel. Better sexual communication often grows out of a healthier communication pattern overall.
Have questions about your relationship, career or your life?
Book a free, no strings, 60-minute personal coaching call where we’ll talk about what you want, what’s holding you back, and some practical steps you can take today.
