Can’t Decide Whether To Stay Married Or Divorce?
Are you confused with your relationship? Maybe you can’t decide whether to stay married or divorce? Maybe you’re unsure how to go about improving the connection and intimacy and affection with your wife?
In this episode I talk about the core of our coaching with men around making the right choices or even knowing what the right choice is for you and your future. This changes everything. The more clear and committed you are to the future you are choosing to head towards, the more chance you have of creating that, even if it seems as though your partner isn’t interested in coming with you.
In the video below I explain this in more detail including:
Why it’s important to listen to your body and the sensations it gives you in order to understand how you’re feeling, make the right choices in your relationships and to move towards what you want, rather than moving away from or avoiding what you don’t want.
Why it’s so difficult to decide whether to stay in a relationship or move on, especially when there are so many factors involved like all the history you share together, your shared property, finances, and kids etc.
How to reduce the options that are confusing you and get clarity that will help you to make a choice that moves you towards what you want and to know that you have the agency to make the right choices for you without having to please or justify yourself to anyone else.
How to focus on what you want while in a difficult situation without being overwhelmed by the many emotions going on and use a more creative, expansive energy instead of contracting and reacting from fear and frustration.
Why listening to your body and paying attention to the sensations and emotions will help you find the right answer for you in regards to staying married or choosing to divorce.
Other articles you may find helpful:
What It Takes To Have A More Passionate RelationshipHow To Attract Your Wife
Why focusing on what you can control is essential for making choices that are the right path forward for you to create the life experience you want.
Why it’s so important to make these choices based on what you want, who you are and what you believe is important, and to not to make decisions to move away from something challenging – your values will guide you perfectly in these situations but you need to have clarity about your non-negotiable values both for yourself and for any relationship that you choose to be in.
Knowing who you are as a man (your character, what’s important to you and what you want for the future) makes it easier to choose whether you want to stay in this relationship or not based on its ability, willingness and potential for growth and development towards what you want (she may want completely different things from a relationship than you do).
Why, when you are authentically owning your own masculine grounded energy and vision of the future, you can easily know whether it’s the right time to stay and work on things, have difficult conversations, be vulnerable and create a better relationship or to choose to lead the ending of the relationship and head in a new direction with your life.
I go into this in more detail in the video below. If you would like some 1-to-1 support on how to move forward with your current life situation, fill out my contact form and I’ll get in touch to arrange a free 60 minute coaching session with you.
You Don’t Need to Force the Decision Before You’re Clear
If you keep going backwards and forwards between staying and leaving, trying to make yourself choose faster may only create more confusion. Start by getting much clearer about who you are, what you want from a relationship and what you are no longer willing to compromise on. Once you have that foundation, it becomes easier to see whether this marriage can grow with you or whether your next honest step needs to be in a different direction.
Book a free 60-minute callHow do I know whether to stay married or get divorced?
Start by getting clearer about what you genuinely want from your future rather than making the decision only around what you want to stop experiencing. Look at your values, your non-negotiables and the kind of relationship you want to create. Then consider whether your current relationship has the willingness and potential to move in that direction.
Why is deciding whether to stay or leave so difficult?
Because you are rarely deciding about the relationship alone. Children, finances, property, shared history, family and uncertainty about the future can all become part of the decision. Trying to solve every factor at once can make it much harder to hear what is actually important to you.
How can I get clarity when I feel confused about my marriage?
Reduce the number of questions you are trying to answer at the same time. Get specific about who you want to be, what you value and what kind of future you are moving towards. Clarity often improves when you stop trying to predict every possible outcome and focus on the decisions that are actually within your control.
Should I trust my feelings when deciding whether to stay married?
Your emotions and physical reactions can give you useful information about what you are experiencing, but they are only part of the picture. Notice what happens in your body while also considering your values, circumstances and long-term direction. The aim is to understand your reactions rather than allowing one intense feeling to make the entire decision for you.
What if I want to improve the marriage but my wife doesn’t seem interested?
You cannot force another person to want the same future you do. You can become clearer about what you want, communicate honestly and see whether there is genuine willingness from both sides to work towards something different. Her response will also give you useful information about what is realistically possible in the relationship.
How do I make this decision without acting from fear?
Focus on what you want to move towards rather than simply what you want to get away from. Get clear on your values, boundaries and the man you want to be whatever happens next. From there, you can decide whether staying and working on the relationship or moving in a different direction is more aligned with the future you want to create.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Contact me for a free, no strings, 60 minute personal coaching call where we will talk about what you want, what’s holding you back from having it and define some actions you can take today to start moving forward.
My Men’s Confidence Coaching program has been developed and refined over the last 12 years. Over that time I’ve helped men through every possible challenging life circumstance you can imagine.
