How To Stop The Hurt From A Failing Marriage
Are you reeling and feeling hurt from a failing marriage? Want to know how to stop the painful feelings that seem to be overwhelming you?
In this episode I talk about where the feelings come from, how to notice them, control their effect on you and how to create the kind of future and felt experience that you really want instead.
In the video below I explain this in more detail including:
How you have the power to choose which thoughts you want to focus on, which will change the way you feel about your current situation and while I know this sounds simplistic, when facing a failing marriage, this gives you your sanity back!
How not to let these current life challenges and relationship difficulties trigger you into fearful thinking and catastrophizing, and how to dig deeper to understand and address the underlying insecurities that are driving your emotions.
Other articles you may find helpful:
Living In A Sexless Marriage What Can You Do?Marriage in Crisis? Don’t Panic
How overthinking and analyzing every possible negative outcome of your struggling marriage leads to unnecessary stress from trying to control and manipulate the other person’s thoughts and feelings, you lose sleep, you can’t eat, you don’t take good care of yourself and you end up feeling utterly exhausted and making things even worse.
Why focusing on controlling your own thoughts and feelings rather than trying to control your external circumstances will help you find peace and return to confidence in yourself again.
How you can learn to manage your thoughts and choose which ones to focus on in order to improve your emotional state and decision-making.
Why your partner’s feelings may change, but it’s important that you don’t allow her changes in opinion of you to define how you think and feel about yourself.
Why it’s important to treat yourself kindly and focus on what you will have in the kind of relationship you really want in the future, even if it means moving on from the current one.
How to use the power you have to choose which thoughts to focus on, which will change how you feel.
Why recognizing and changing your focus is key to improving the quality of your life and your relationships.
I go into this in more detail in the video below. If you would like some 1-to-1 support on how to move forward with your current life situation, fill out my contact form and I’ll get in touch to arrange a free 60 minute coaching session with you.
Get Your Feet Back Under You Before You Decide What Comes Next
If your marriage feels uncertain and your mind is constantly jumping to the worst possible outcome, you do not need to solve your entire future today. Start by getting clearer about what is actually happening, what you can control and what kind of relationship you want to create moving forward. When you stop letting fear make every decision for you, it becomes much easier to think, respond and choose from a more grounded place.
Book a free 60-minute callHow do I stop overthinking a failing marriage?
Start by noticing when your mind is repeatedly running through possible negative outcomes. You do not need to solve every future scenario today. Bring your attention back to what is actually happening now and what you can realistically control in your own behaviour and decisions.
Why does a struggling marriage make me feel so anxious?
When the future of an important relationship feels uncertain, it can trigger fear, insecurity and a strong urge to regain control. That can lead to constant analysing, poor sleep and difficulty switching off. Understanding what you are afraid of can help you respond more deliberately rather than reacting to every thought.
Can I control my thoughts and feelings when my marriage is failing?
You may not be able to stop every difficult thought or feeling from appearing, but you can become more intentional about which thoughts you keep focusing on and how you respond to them. The goal is not to pretend everything is fine. It is to stop every fearful thought from automatically deciding what you do next.
How do I stop my wife’s feelings about me from destroying my confidence?
Her feelings matter, but they do not have to become the final judgement on your value as a man. Pay attention to her perspective while also staying connected to your own character, values and intentions. Your confidence becomes more stable when it is not entirely dependent on how another person feels about you today.
What should I focus on when I don’t know if my marriage will survive?
Focus on what is within your control now. Take care of yourself, get clear about what you want from a healthy relationship and make decisions that align with the man you want to be. You may not know the final outcome yet, but you can still move toward greater clarity and stability.
How can I stay calm enough to make good decisions about my marriage?
Try not to make every decision from the most frightened version of yourself. Slow things down, notice when you are catastrophising and give yourself room to think before acting. If the distress is severely affecting your sleep, eating or day-to-day functioning, getting appropriate professional support can also be a sensible step.
Have questions about your relationship, career or your life?
Book a free, no strings, 60-minute personal coaching call where we’ll talk about what you want, what’s holding you back, and some practical steps you can take today.
