How To Attract Your Wife

When it comes to understanding how to attract your wife, there are so many confusing messages out there.

Most of us men don’t realize that we need to actively work on attracting our wives. We think it should all just be easy and that passion, desire and sex should always be on tap.

The truth is that you can create attraction and a stronger, more passionate relationship if you choose to take on the responsibility of creating the right environment for those things to happen naturally.

When you first started dating your wife, the novelty of the new relationship provided all the dopamine you needed for her to be attracted to you.

Dopamine, the pleasure neurotransmitter, is triggered by novelty and new experiences.

I know it wasn’t always like this, but as the excitement and admiration faded, you probably started getting a lot of excuses for why she doesn’t want sex, and naturally your fear, indignation, and resentment begins to rise.

Sexual rejection can be extremely painful, especially when you feel like you’ve done everything you can to try to turn her on. It can be confidence crushing when she doesn’t want you, and it’s something that’s hard to understand or talk about with other people unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

I know what it’s like.

Someone has to take the lead.

You have the power to make your marriage more connected, passionate, fun and filled with attraction, today if you want to.

To keep the spark alive in a marriage, you have to put in the effort to do things that make your partner feel attracted to you. If no one makes an effort to change, the sexual desire will fade and the marriage will become stagnant.

Many guys have trouble with this because they ignore the Law of Entropy. Even though there is evidence that attraction does not naturally grow, they still want to believe the myth that it does.

When you don’t put deliberate effort into leading your relationship and resolving small conflicts and hurt feelings – the law of entropy means that the connection and desire naturally fades.

Attraction is caused by dopamine, which we produce when we are faced with a new situation or an uncertain outcome.

Marriage is the perfect breeding ground for comfort and complacency, which is the enemy of attraction.

If you choose not to take action to improve attraction, it will continue to decline.

Luckily, it is fairly easy to repair attraction and desire once you know what you are doing.

You are the best person to take on the responsibility of restoring attraction in your marriage. You may never have thought of it as your ‘job’ to do the things that build attraction, but it is your responsibility.

Your choice, now you know, is whether you accept your role as the creator of attraction, or let it pass it by as “too hard” or “not worth the effort”.

There are four main reasons to put in the effort to attract your wife.

The first reason is that the benefits are huge. Obviously, you want a wife who is attracted to you, so putting in the work to attract her is essential.

The second reason is because you currently have a higher sex drive than your wife. If she’s less attracted to you, she won’t want to do things that would lead to more sex. It’s not a conscious choice. The one with the higher drive always has more incentive to change the marriage.

The third reason for taking on the responsibility of building attraction in your marriage is a bit more complex.

Simply put, she is responding to your leadership all the time, and she is attracted to very specific behaviors and qualities. Start engaging in those behaviors, and you’ll see that her attraction toward you increases.

The fourth reason is that taking responsibility to lead the relationship makes you feel good. When you take this responsibility, you’re taking on a new power, which is its own reward. You start feeling a sense of direction and purpose and lose that feeling of powerlessness you have every time she turns you down.

Responsibility = Power – the power to create the marriage you really want. This responsibility is a gift not a burden!

Guys Who Take Responsibility are Powerful

When you take charge and assume responsibility, women will find you more attractive. This also applies to your wife – if you take responsibility for creating attraction in your marriage, you will get the marriage you want. If you leave it up to your wife, nothing will change.

You Already Have the Power to Attract Your Wife

Want to re-attract your wife? Want great quality sex again?

I can tell you everything you need to know about attraction in under an hour. The hard part is whether you take action on the information. You have the power to amplify attraction in your marriage. It’s up to you whether you use that power or not.

You have to choose to take the responsibility for and ownership of the attraction in your marriage.

You need to take charge if you want to build attraction in your marriage. Once you start doing things that attract women, you’ll get the passionate wife and great sex you’ve always wanted.

But you must choose to Take Responsibility.

Ready to Get What You Want from Your Marriage?

Contact me for a free 60 minute coaching call and start using your power to create connection, attraction and build the passionate relationship you really want.

About the author

Hi, I'm Dan. I've been a men’s coach for many years, mentoring and coaching men to get clear on what they want and creating practical and actionable plans to make it happen. I’ve experienced many of the same challenges you're going through right now. I’m here to challenge you and help you understand what's holding you back so that you can step into the confident, successful man you were meant to be.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is my coaching right for you?

My coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. I teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While my coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, I also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. I help you understand what you really want your future to look like and I also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 60-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, I listen a lot, I ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, I help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then I help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

I take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the coaching program work?

You will have either 2 or 4 coaching calls with me per month, continual access to me via messenger or email throughout the process, ongoing assignments and resources to help you stay focused and grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a trusted mentor in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

Why do you only offer 1-to-1 coaching and not group coaching?

I prefer to work with men 1-to-1 because I can really get to know you and unearth the best path forward for you and your current circumstances.

1-to-1 has the benefit over group coaching of creating much faster progress towards what you want to change in your life. You get much more personal time and attention with 1-to-1 coaching and it's adapted to your specific circumstances so provides the specific practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create the future you want.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

I work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. I only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. I teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – I don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t feel like a victim anymore.
  • You won’t experience any judgment or criticism (seems obvious but a lot of the men I speak to have felt this from past therapists or coaches that they have worked with).

I don't waste our time with all those things because I want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So I focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...my coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then my coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then my coaching will help.

I will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. I will get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. I help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

I help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. I help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. I help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys I work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of my coaching for free?