Control How Long You Last During Sex
Do you suffer with premature ejaculation (PE)? Want to control how long you last during sex? Is it having a damaging effect on your self confidence, your sexual confidence and your overall happiness in life, with women or in your sexual, intimate connection in your marriage?
In this episode I talk to Keeley Rankin who is a Sex and Relationship coach from California, we discuss her work with men around this issue for the past 14 years, what she’s learnt, how she helps her clients, the stages she takes them through in her program and whether there are specific problems or causes that need special attention, plus the role of shame and performance anxiety in early ejactulation.
Here’s the scene…it’s on, you can feel there’s a vibe between you and it’s been building all day…sooner or later you know that this sexual tension is going to need to be expressed physically together.
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Little touches, flirtatious looks, innuendos, giggling…there’s an electricity crackling between you and any moment it’s about to ignite.
Then, later, in the moment when you’re body’s are doing the talking, you’re full of anticipation, pleasure and excitement and the fuse between you is lit and heading towards lift off, suddenly the fireworks fizzle out and it’s all over too quickly, leaving you feeling deflated and frustrated.
Premature ejaculation (PE) isn’t just about how many minutes you achieved, how many pumps you cycled through; it’s a real emotional gut punch that can leave you questioning your masculinity, your self confidence, and even your value as a man.
Orgasming earlier than you want to is a very painful emotional experience for most of us men.
And after it happens the experience isn’t done with you yet….
There’s a voice in your head whispering, “Not good enough,”
There’s a shame knot tightening in your stomach.
The awkward silence that hangs heavy in the air after a climax which was more like tripping over into a mud puddle than reaching the mountain top and surveying your kingdom
You lie there feeling awful and that blissful moment you wanted to share together is nowhere to be seen. It’s not just about failing to live up to some standard of “manliness.” PE can be a real barrier to connection, trust and intimacy, making us hesitant to be sexual again with her.
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Sex turns from a joyous shared exploration into a lonely battleground of anxiety, performance pressure and inner ridicule. The emotional effect can spill over into other areas of our lives too.
You might start avoiding relationships altogether, fearing the inevitable disappointment.
You might become withdrawn, isolated, and struggle with self-esteem.
But there’s some good news.
This is not a life sentence. PE is waaaay more common than you think, affecting millions of men around the world. And….it’s absolutely treatable.
If you’ve ever struggled to last longer in bed, today’s episode where I talk to PE expert Keeley Rankin is for you:
YES! There really is a proven path to reclaiming your sexual confidence and building healthy control over when YOU CHOOSE to orgasm
Remember, you’re not alone in this. There’s a whole community of men who understand the struggle and are ready to support you.
Don’t be afraid to share your story, seek help, and believe in your ability to overcome this challenge. Reclaiming your sexual power starts with a choice to take back control of your sexuality and your masculinity.
Your sexual confidence, you MOJO is defined by your strength, resilience, and willingness – COURAGE – to face your challenges head-on.
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But you’re much more likely to succeed with other men who have walked this path before you supporting you through the process.
The self criticism and isolation are some of the most painful aspects of this difficult experience.
But it doesn’t have to be like this!
This experience is something almost ALL men go through at some point in their lives. It’s THAT common. Learning how to embrace and work with your sensations rather than avoid them or try and distract yourself will radically change your self control even at those heightened moments of pleasure.
Reviewing how you view and use porn is important to understand how you’re training your sexual nervous system.
Getting to know what you really want and like is crucial as well as being able to slow down, allow yourself to relax and enjoy the experience.
Being able to identify where your arousal is at on a scale helps you know where your sweet spot is and start to be able to surf on the crest of the wave without being pulled under.
For more information about Keeley Rankin and her premature ejaculation course visit: keeleyrankin.com
And if you want to find that calm, confident masculine sexual energy inside you, I want to help you get there.
Don’t Let One Sexual Problem Define Your Confidence
If premature ejaculation has made sex feel more like a performance test than something you can relax into and enjoy, the first step is getting out of the cycle of shame and self-criticism. You can learn more about your arousal, understand what happens when the pressure builds and become more confident communicating and connecting during intimacy. This is something you can work on without making your worth as a man depend on how long you last.
Book a free 60-minute callWhat is premature ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation generally means ejaculating sooner during sex than you want to and feeling that you have little control over when it happens. The important part is not simply counting minutes. If it repeatedly causes frustration, anxiety or difficulty in your intimate relationship, it is worth addressing.
Why does premature ejaculation affect confidence so much?
Sex can feel closely connected to masculinity, desirability and self-worth for many men. When you repeatedly orgasm earlier than you want, it can quickly become something you judge yourself for. That shame and self-criticism can then create even more pressure the next time you have sex.
Can performance anxiety make premature ejaculation worse?
It can become part of the cycle. If you enter sex worrying about whether you will last long enough, you may become hyper-focused on your performance rather than relaxed and connected to the experience. Learning to recognise your arousal and stay present can help reduce some of that pressure.
How can I learn to last longer during sex?
Start by becoming more familiar with how your arousal builds rather than waiting until you are already close to orgasm. Slowing down, noticing your level of arousal and learning when you need to reduce intensity can help you understand your own sexual responses better. Persistent difficulties are also worth discussing with a qualified healthcare or sexual-health professional.
Can porn affect premature ejaculation?
Your sexual habits can influence the patterns your body becomes familiar with, so it can be useful to look honestly at how you use porn and how you normally masturbate. That does not mean porn is automatically the cause of premature ejaculation. The aim is to understand your own patterns rather than blame one thing without evidence.
Can premature ejaculation be treated?
There are established approaches that can help many men, depending on what is contributing to the problem. Support may involve behavioural techniques, work around anxiety and sexual confidence, relationship or sex therapy, and in some cases medical assessment or treatment. You do not have to keep struggling with it in silence.
Have questions about your relationship, career or your life?
Book a free, no strings, 60-minute personal coaching call where we’ll talk about what you want, what’s holding you back, and some practical steps you can take today.
