One Habit To Stop To Have More Confidence
Do you feel unsure and tentative in your relationship? Want to know about the one habit to stop to have more confidence?
In this episode I talk about the habit of comparing yourself to other people or even to an imagined “perfect” version of yourself and then using that comparison to wallow in self doubt, self pity and self destructive thinking – which of course makes us feel even more unconfident – I also give you a new way to think about feedback you receive which isn’t positive (at first glance).
In the video below I explain this in more detail including:
Why you should stop comparing yourself to others and instead focus on your own growth and improvement as a man.
How stopping the habit of comparing yourself to others boosts your self confidence and helps you to follow through on the goals you set yourself and the commitments you make to others – in other words you start to trust yourself more and other people trust you more too.
Why when you stop comparing yourself to others you can finally define a clear direction to focus on in each part of your life and as you start to take action working towards building those areas of your life, you will start to feel stronger and happier.
Why it’s so important to stop blaming other people and external factors that you have no control over to start feeling confident again.
Other articles you may find helpful:
Why Did You Stop Trusting Yourself?When Should You Leave Your Unhappy Marriage?
Why comparing yourself to others holds you back from showing up fully as a confident man in your marriage or long-term relationship.
Why focusing on getting clear on what you want and then taking action towards those things will gradually build your sense of self worth and belief in your ability to create the life you want, learning and growing from your mistakes and experiences along the way.
When you stop comparing yourself to others, you can focus on how you can improve as a man, as a partner, as a dad, as a friend, as a son, as a brother, as a leader and as an example that inspires others to do the same.
How often we compare ourselves to other people and feel shame or that we’re failing in some way, yet there is a way that you can use comparison to others as a powerful fuel for your growth and clarity about what you want to create in the future.
How to recognize tension in your body as a sign that you are comparing yourself to someone else and criticising yourself in the process, and instead, know how to use the tension as useful information to know what you need to focus on next.
Stop Using Other People as the Measure of Your Worth
If comparison keeps leaving you feeling behind, inadequate or unsure of yourself, you don’t need to become somebody else before you can feel confident. Get clearer about what you admire, what you want to develop and what your next meaningful step looks like. The more consistently you act in line with your own values and direction, the more evidence you give yourself that you can trust who you’re becoming.
Book a free 60-minute callWhy does comparing myself to others damage my confidence?
Comparison often makes you focus on what you believe someone else has that you don’t. If you repeatedly use those differences to criticise yourself, your sense of self-worth can gradually become dependent on how you measure up. Confidence becomes more stable when you judge your progress against your own values and direction instead.
How can I stop comparing myself to other people?
Start by noticing when comparison happens rather than trying to force yourself never to do it. Ask what the comparison is showing you about something you want to improve or create in your own life. Then bring your attention back to an action you can actually take.
Can comparison ever be useful?
Yes, if you use it as information rather than as a reason to attack yourself. Someone else’s confidence, relationship, career or lifestyle may show you something you value or want more of. The useful question is what you can learn from that rather than why you aren’t already like them.
Why do I compare myself to an ideal version of myself?
You may have a picture of who you think you should already be and use the gap between that person and your current reality to judge yourself. That can create shame rather than motivation. A better use of that vision is to let it give you direction for the next decision or action you want to take.
How does comparison affect confidence in my relationship?
If you constantly believe you should be more confident, attractive, successful or emotionally capable, you can become tentative and overly aware of how your partner sees you. That can make it harder to relax and show up naturally. Focusing on your own values and growth helps you become less dependent on comparison for your sense of worth.
How can I use negative feedback without losing confidence?
Try to separate useful information from the judgement you immediately make about yourself. Feedback does not automatically mean you have failed or that something is wrong with you. Ask what you can learn from it, decide what is relevant, and use that information to choose what you want to improve next.
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My Men’s Confidence Coaching program has been developed and refined over the last 12 years. Over that time I’ve helped men through every possible challenging life circumstance you can imagine.
